


1 John 2:18

by ShiningBeatyfluff



Category: Homestuck, Powerpuff Girls, The Bible
Genre: I hope hell will be fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 06:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6644926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiningBeatyfluff/pseuds/ShiningBeatyfluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesus is finally returning to fight Gamzee Makara the anti-Christ but he has something more evil and Gruesome than any Satanic power... The Powerpuff girls reboot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1 John 2:18

Gamzee stood over the evil satanic symbols he had drawn in the sand in a dark red blood. he chanted some things in Latin like "evilis beis hereis."

Ever since Gamzee was released into new-earths ocean he had been training to be the best anti-christ, now that it was time. Only a few hours until Jesus' fated return he was ready to unleash his ultimate power.

He concentrated deeply on this evil portal to another dimension to bring about an evil unfeasible by the human mind. The sort of evil that may go unrecognized as evil by some because it takes a form of something humans would usually trust.

As the portal opened Gamzee laughed and honked madly looking up towards the sky as if challenging God and Jesus himself.

Out came 3 five year old girls, one dressed in pink, one in blue and another in green.

"Oh. emm. Gee. like who are u u creepy clown loser" said the pink one.

"Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup. I have summoned you all here to save the world from the greatest evil of them all. Christianity" spoke Gamzee in a dark and all-knowing voice.

"lmao sounds easy" said buttercup, the green one. pounding one of her nub arms into the other.

"but how do we fight an idea or concept?" asks Blossom, the pink one.

"the false god's son descends unto this MOTHERFUCKIN earth TODAY, that's when we DESTROY that MOTHERFUCKIN fool" professed Gamzee.

"I hope hes not a meenie" bubbles said

"hes a super meenie, hes the fault of alotta bad shit" Gamzee explained to the 5 year old and then gave a brief summery of the history of Christianity like with witch burnings and selling tickets to heaven and controlling everyone and making all the peasants get beat if they don't pay attention to mass even though the whole thing was Latin and they couldn't understand it.

"wow Jesus sounds like a real butt-face ahhaa" laughed Buttercup and then Blossom high-fived her and then they all took a selfie as Gamzee smiled at how pure evil these children were, as blossom lifted her dress a little for the picture.

then it was the time. the entire world rumbled and a blinding light came down from the sky which was brighter than the normal blinding light.

"its me, your god i have returned" spoke Jesus out of his heavenly lips.

"oh man what a nerd I'm gonna beat him up" buttercup started as she flew forward but Gamzee put out his lanky arm.

"wait JUST A SECOND please" Gamzee shouted

Jesus flew in front of Gamzee

"Its been a while Bard of Rage." Jesus spoke softly but there was an anger behind it like when a housewife helicopter mom is seething with jealousy when she compliments another woman's brownies.

"You've got a LOTTA guts COMING back here J-Naz." Gamzee growled, with the confidence of a man who's never known what the word no even means.

"you cannot defeat me Gamzee, it is time for this planet to be clean of its sin" Jesus righteously proclaimed.

"your definition of sin is faulty and foolish" Gamzee argued "whats even the point of this if a sinful person will go to hell anyway" 

"we've had enough of this terrible planet" Jesus stated " my father agrees that this rank ass ball a shit's done. Hardly anyone is even devoting their lives to us anymore. we cant survive like this, so we're quitting while we have the power to."

"fuck off" Gamzzee muttered as he trudged forward "i will MOTHERFUCKIN protect this planet no matter what and i have summoned just the creatures to help me" as he motioned back towards the powerpuff girls

"what? the powerpuff girls? they were good wholesome entertainment from the 90s" Jesus said

"no YOU IDIOT it's the 2016 REBOOT powerPUFFgirls" Gamzee shouted. Jesus' eyes widened for a moment before returning to his stern facial expression

"you don't scare me you dirty clown."

"Get him girls" Gamzee growled quietly looking over to the girls.

"Prepare to be stomped!" Blossom shouted as the three girls flew towards our lord and savior.

They all attacked Jesus but he didn't die, he just stood and withstood all their attacks.

"you fools, mere punches cannot hurt me." Jesus proclaimed.

"Girls you must go pollute the population with shitty meme references and by twerking, steer the children away from the word of the lord!" Gamzee stated. The girls understood and flew to Cartoon network headquarters and got a live cam on themselves.

Gamzee grinned darkly towards the son of god as good christian children all around the planet turned on their tv to see the powerpuff girls making rage comics and twerking in the background while also listening to gangnam style and talking about hentai.

Jesus grabbed his heart as he kneeled down

"Impossible! How could you control the youth this fast!?" He gasped

"easy as MOTHERFUCKING pie. I just take something there children's parents find nostalgic so that they tell their children its good and the kids suddenly love it. they are MOTHERFUCKING FOOLs " shouted the bard in purple garb

"there's only one thing i can do to save myself" Jesus sputtered "I would be destroying this sinful planet but also destroying myself in the process."

Jesus then flew away with a light surrounding him as he moved quickly towards central Europe and the in front of me, the writer's, house

"It's me Shining Beatyfluff. it's time for you to atone for your sins!" He shouted as he pointed at me from outside my home

"What? already?" I asked

"yes, you know what this is for." 

"I'm not even sorry dude" I replied while I made out with like 7 other women and also wearing a shirt made of several different materials and also I was wearing excessive jewelry.

Then Jesus used a heavenly superbeam to destroy me, my house and this story.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading, I was using this facfic as just a crazy idea to get me out of writers block, I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a comment if you would have changed anything about it or just tell me what you think overall, thanks!


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